My sense of time and being are slowly dissolving.
Sometimes I make myself laugh.
Sometimes I just want to throw a temper tantrum.
Sometimes I just want to hide.
Sometimes I put my feet up.
Sometimes I just want to run around until I am worn out.
Sometimes time seems to melt away.
Sometimes I feel like I am deforming.
Sometimes I put on a smile.
Although quarantine is very limiting in some sense, I am also the most free that I have ever been in many ways. No eyes are on me so I can do absolutely anything that I want within the walls of my apartment. However, with this state of living, days blend together and I have difficulty distinguishing what occurred a week ago versus what occurred a month ago.
Through the act of photographing myself I have realized that I am performing for the camera and having a dialogue with it. With the camera I am talking to myself from the future. With these photographs I am not capturing my daily routine but a feeling inside of me.
When I photograph myself, I get into an almost manic state. I run around, curl my body into odd shapes, throw my clothes all over, and dance. These sessions are very draining and afterwards I look at the images for a long time. Was it really me that was running around naked around my apartment? Yes it is - I am alive and real. I can feel.
